A SPECIAL HOLIDAY WEATHER FORECAST

A SPECIAL HOLIDAY WEATHER FORECAST
ISSUED: CHRISTMAS EVE, 2013 12:00 A.M. EST

TODAY: CHANCE OF PARTYING

TONIGHT: CALM AND QUIET WITH SCATTERED MILK AND COOKIES. TURNING A BIT WARM, ESPECIALLY NEAR THE BOTTOM OF CHIMMNEYS. FOOTING COULD BECOME SLIPPERY FOR REINDEER AND SLOPPY FOR PEOPLE WALKING BEHIND THE REINDEER AFTER MIDNIGHT.

TOMORROW: LOTS OF EXCITEMENT AND EXPECTATIONS VERY EARLY IN THE DAY WITH VERY LOCALIZED COAL SPOTS. GENERALLY WARM SATISFACTION BY MIDDAY AND AFTERNOON.

TOMORROW NIGHT: VARYING AMOUNTS OF EGG NOG.

THURSDAY: 
*** WINTER SHOPPERS WATCH GOES INTO EFFECT AT 9:00 A.M. ***

SYNOPSIS: A LONG FRONTAL LINE IS EXPECTED TO FORM OVER MACY’S, BLOOMINGDALES, KOHL’S, SEARS AND MOST OTHER DEPARTMENT STORES, IN THE VICINITY OF THE RETURN SECTION, ACCOMPANIED BY STORMY TIMES AND LONG DELAYS. EXTREME CAUTION SHOULD BE USED IN THE VICINITY OF ALL STORE MANAGERS.

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! 

NJWO

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